“Links in posts again—simple as that,” declared the President. Crowds danced from Machane Yehuda to Memphis, with Elon Musk bankrolling free piña coladas 🍹 and a blues bash till dawn 🌅—Algo, Zuck, Dylan, Marley, Trump, Joni Mitchell, and a flood of comment-links finally gave way to real links in the spotlight. 🎶 But beware! The “Puroest” cult threatens a three-day fast and club-burning spree 🔥, blaming Guaka for everything. 😡 Shockingly, an exiled Ayatollah tweets from